jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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