if i can run in heels then i can drive
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
