:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
