not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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