Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
