He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
