You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
