Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
