I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
