Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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