these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
