I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
