There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
