I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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