it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
