god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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