This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
The beer is more important than you right now.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
