my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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