You really coming over, don't trick.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
