Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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