What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
