What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
