What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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