Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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