Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
