May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
