My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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