trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
