I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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