you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
