Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
