i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
