Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
