Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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