also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
