i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
