Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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