Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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