Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
