I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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