Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
