So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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