Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
