please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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