i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
