She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
