Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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