It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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