I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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