My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
